February 22, 2011

"Marriage" - Are you F^%#^$% crazy?

    Just about everybody I know is either getting married or planning to get married, and I am nothing short of flabbergasted at the thought of getting married. Here are my top reasons NOT to get married:

  1. Free sex is just isn't worth all the tension of getting married.
  2. If I need someone to tell me I'm wrong all the time, I will write a program to tell me I'm right all the time. (I'm pretty sure with my skills it will tell me I'm wrong with the proof).
  3. My definition of a perfect evening is a glass of scotch, some nice chips and star wars followed by a session of "Company of Heroes".
  4. I can no longer go out with friends for night outs and return home sloshed.
  5. I love myself the way I am. Considering all the "ego surfing" I have done. Ask Google they will vouch for it. Don't need someone who will change me.
  6. I hate waiting. Imagine you suddenly feel hungry and want to go to a nice roadside Dhaba and grab a bite with your wife on time. And then wake up from your dreams.
  7. Change is the essence of life. Monotony kills me. Coming home each day and listening to the same monotonous voice rambling away about the happenings of her day. Sorry it aint happening.
  8. "This one is for ALL the girls". When I have a problem, I love being alone and not someone bugging me all day long – "talk to me about it" or "you never talk to me".
  9. If I need company, I'll get a Dog, they are faithful, less expensive and throw a bone and they WILL shut up.
  10. The reason I am a programmer is because I HATE people talking back. We love computers coz they obey you. And when they don't, you re-boot them and if they talk too much, format them. You got bored of the look change the wall paper. You want variety install linux. Get the hint?

1 comment:

  1. Kya baat hai bhai,ab to log marriage karna to duur, sochna bhi chchod denge.I specially liked the point which was for Girls(ya say Ladies/Women)-I suddenly recalled the incident when you said something after Swayam was over & we were sitting in your room. Amazing observation.